barefoot in the snow, pre-sun. icewater-drawn dawn baths & midnight
velvet across a slightly shattered mirror. dreamcatching by hand. from
a hammock by the water, she fig-picks the yellow twilights out of late
August, pulls laughter out of the lake with old cane poles. trawling
for blackberry-stained summer-skins, bartering breadcrumbs for bor-
rowed affection. a peeling front porch in grey reflects moonset on nights
as transparent as mother’s white nightgown (like the one i fished from
the rag box to cloak the scarlet & the steam, that first time). like head-
lights through dark bedroom windows. like January frost on fever.
dang this is delicious…chaotic imagery that works together to pain a lovely picture…moonlit thighs, blackberries…some nice touches there…really a lovely piece…
Wonderful piece… love the bundles of fruit filled days, and nights (smiles)… my favorite lines ‘she fig-picks the yellow twilights out of late
August, pulls laughter out of the lake with old cane poles’.
What a beautifully written piece! There are so many tight phrases that draw us in constantly one feels like one is being serenaded by Mother Nature herself! I love it all.W
Evocative and compelling– i love the surprises such as fig-picking the yellow from August– lovely! i’m at http://parolavivace.blogspot.com . xj
Thanks, jenne. I’m going to make it over to your new meme one of these Fridays… 🙂
So many great images described in vivid language – an overdose! Enjoyed this Joanne.
Thanks, Gordon!
A wonderful piece, comes alive with the imagery you convey, nice!
I am there, just a blade of grass, dried by autumn, observing this richly penned scene. Fantastic!
very nice. the layers, as mentioned.
‘preciate it, val.
Artful imagery. Even though I am no literary critic(according to the snobs) , I know I am correct in this assessment because it made the film in my mind’s cinema fill the screen up in there wherever. Imagery. The poet’s religion.
The poet’s religion indeed. You’re critic enough for me, Carl. Then again, I ain’t too studied in lit’rature myself. 🙂
Interesting decision on form, using the paragraph here–it rather compresses, and for me, hides the impact of the words–all of which were brilliant and apposite, as well as imaginative and thematically right, the last lines in particular. Excellent poem.
Thanks for the feedback. I was kinda experimenting with the form here– the piece was originally done as a triptych, and I did cut and smush into a single prose paragraph what I thought were the strongest images– maybe that’s why you get the sense of compression. Still a work in progress! 🙂
I feel the “bartering for breadcrumbs”
smooches,
Larie
Neat. Thanks for a pleasing read.
Much thanks to all for stopping by and leaving your kind & thoughtful words.
Peace,
jsl
I’m not quite sure what to make of this, except it’s brilliant, I love it, and I was captured and flung on a roller coaster ride through snowdrifts, summer lakes and bath tubs of autumn’s longing.
delicious is right. couldn’t wait to read this twice. i love the beautiful little ornament that is ‘that first time.’ just love that detail in the middle of it all. to me, that just made it come alive.
Beautifully written!
This is otherworldly and rooted in the earth at once
Very different form
I completely love this writing
Really good work!
I love the richness of these images!