head tipped back and lens out of focus
i sip the last dregs of sunlight
from a summer fast fading,
etching her colors black-inked into tomorrow,
tracing my words into the wet cement of eternity.
my steps quicken to match the fall
of the leaves over old brick in the city’s
East end, my footfalls small
miracles of blurry substance in a brittle
dream.
but the words
just won’t flow like
they’re supposed; they start and they
stutter over roots in the sidewalk, getting lost in the
mutter of leaves and passing traffic and sometimes
when the light recalls just perfectly
the way it used to fall
through your bedroom blinds in
September’s late mornings, then
the muscles at the top of my throat
close up and in the sudden rush of air
that i swallow to
push the memories back
down into oblivion, they
vanish altogether,
leaving my shadow to
walk alone through the early October
sunset.
Pingback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 29 (Sept 23-29) | Jingle
Pingback: Agreement 4 Thursday Poets Rally Week 29 Participants | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
Great poem.
it built up to an amazing last verse
nice…the last dregs of summer…luckily autumn is a a frosty cold one as well. smiles. nice write.
a beautiful process,
lovely done…
magical ending,
I see your walking shadow in October sunset, very stunning…
Thanks for the participation.
really clever, well done.
Wow. You’re a damn good poet. I think I am gonna enjoy reading through your archives. Your style fits your imagery so damn well, makes me want to go practice writing until I can match your linguistic jujitsu. Awesome poem.
crb.
Well constructed with great imagery. I especially like the last ending.
I think the ending was really awesome. very vivid and had a good flow to it. Beautiful.
____Joe
Dear Joanna… Wonderful start with the sip of sun set… and then walking out without the shadow… i loved reading this one…. Beautiful.
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay for a verse everyday about love, longing and life
Arts, Jingle, penelope, Joe: seems everyone likes the ending. i’m partial to it as well. thanks so much, you guys. 🙂
brian: too true. thanks for dropping by.
J.– appreciate it.
Fool: linguistic jujitsu? now you’re making me blush… especially coming from as fine a poet as yourself.
cheers all
jsl
Hey, I call it like I see it. Thanks for the compliment, much appreciated.
crb.
‘early October sunset..’ nice way to finish… I need one. Nice work
Warmest Salad
Luke
Beautiful!
Pamela
I like the way it draws you in. Great read.
Oh that is gorgeous.I had such a beautiful Chicago neighborhood visual like Lincoln Park!
Shashi–thank you so much for your lovely words. I’ll be sure to check out your ‘twitterverse’–sounds very cool.
pamela, Kimberly: appreciate you dropping in. thanks for your thoughts.
Luke–Thanks. It’s mid-90’s here in Virginia right now, and I agree: an early October sunset sure does sound nice. Salad tossed back atcha.
Kristen– I’ve never been to Lincoln Park, sadly, but I imagine it would be something like this, an old neighborhood with lots of character and funky little corner cafes. That’s what Church Hill (the Richmond neighborhood I was drawing inspiration from) feels like. Definitely an autumn type of place.
alright, i’m out for the evening, off to chase down the last shreds of summer (or run them off, more like)
peace all,
jsl
Awesome write that drawn me in right from the first line!! Fantastic craft of words my friend xx
Amazing work, that held my attention and capivated me.
I really love this, and your style, especially the way that the words are given their own consciousness.
Great work! 🙂 x
I loved the ending .. It was beautifully said..
–Someone Is Special–
touching . your feelings are felt in every word.
aww, thanks buttercup; a visit form you is always a pleasure. hugs 🙂
thoughts, Someone: thanks for your sweet words; glad you enjoyed the piece.
Kiera, likewise. i had never thought about it that way, giving the words their own consciousness. i like it.
cheers
jsl
dancingfreak–thanks. glad they resonated.
I have to agree, wonderful ending…
beautifully constructed… Adding to favourites 🙂
From start to finish a wonderful read. Love and Light, Sender
just one word : marvelous !!! this was pure beauty …
Rätsel, Sender, nimue– feeling overwhelmed by your comments. so glad this found its way to the ears and minds of so many; thanks much for all the positive feedback, y’all. 🙂
peace
jsl
Remarkable poetic skills, lovely lady! I’m going to visit often…your words invited me in and then I was simply…there…captivated.
You have mad poetic skills!
http://lovelyannie79.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/portrait-of-a-lady/
gahh, really lovely!Well done.
Brilliant word-painting. Perfect for the season.
Victoria
annie– you are too kind. you’re welcome around here any time!
J.– 🙂
Victoria– I like the phrase “word-painting”; that’s really what we do as poets, yeah? paint pictures, moments, turns of mood or season.. not with brushes but with words… Thanks for stopping by.
cheers all,
jsl
I really identify with the city imagery you use to explain the words & feelings. One of my fav poems in this week’s Jingle rally!
🙂
but the words DO flow and they flow well !
good job
🙂
wow thanks buffalowoman (cool name!)
and Sina, thanks for dropping in 🙂
Pingback: Fabulous Treats In Poetry (Highlight of Thursday Poets Rally week 29 Poetry) | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/10/poetry-potluck-beaches-and-mountains.html
Greetings, friend! How r u?
I sincerely invite you to join us for a Monday Poetry Potluck party, bring in 1 to 3 poems to share, let our fellow poets read and encourage your creative work, and have fun reading other poets from our list and discover fresh friendship as well!
This is only once a week opportunity, your talent and hard work deserve attention, I encourage you to sign in and follow our blog so that you get the most updated information about our other features….
Hurry up, the more you share, the happier we are.
Hope to see you at our party soon!
to link in, click on the link via this comment from above, then look at the blue link button at the end of the post, click on the button, have your poem link copy and pasted in the first box, then enter your name, then, your email address…let us know if you need help by leaving a comment under the same post…
so beautiful and nostalgic.
visiting you from jingle’s TRP (Thursday Rally 4 Poets).
Good one Joanna
thanks, joe. 🙂
jsl